Now lets define fear for a moment so that we have a better understanding of what it is, and what it does or does not do for us.
In one study fear is defined as “an emotional response to the idea that something bad is going to happen” Most of us have different types of this ailment: fear of flying, enclosed spaces, fear of the dark, or even fear of ghosts.
Earl Nightingale was accurate in saying that there 2 things common in everyone: that he wants something, and that he is afraid of something. So its very clear that in every person who has a dream, is also something that he is afraid of either doing or having. Now let me tell you something, im not an expert on Psychology or human behavior, but I do know one thing about this topic of fear that is very important: it is the one thing that has stopped so many people from getting to where they wanna be in their lives.
Why?
Take fear of rejection for example, or the fear of criticism. A lot of people prevent themselves from performing at a very high level because they are afraid of what people might say to them. They are afraid of what will happen even before it’s happened hence the delays and eventual loss in production which experts call procrastination.
In a recent study on self determination theories it was concluded that the higher the level of fear in a person, the more likely are the chances of them procrastinating or putting off a task for later. On the other hand, the higher the vitality and energy of the person, their chances of delaying a certain task dwindled.
Let me break this down for you further. People show signs of apprehension because there is a certain level of risk involved, and risk happens when there is a possibility of loss. Believe me, I’m an accountant. This is very obvious in investments where businessmen hold back on their money due to the probability of losing it on a wrong decision. It’s also very clear in our everyday lives where a lot of us fear going to the next level because they are afraid losing their reputations, their jobs, or simply losing credibility. They hold back, stifling their great ideas and their potential until such time that somebody brave enough would come forward, bring that idea into action and eventually be rewarded for it. Then everyone would celebrate that person and call him a risk taker. Of course we’d feel resentment saying “hey I that was my idea, I thought of it first” but what made that other guy advance in their careers or business or relationships compared to us? Well to be completely honest that thin line is all about one word: perspective.
Just as I write this podcast there was news of a bomb threat in one of the schools near the area. Now imagine if the cops or the bomb squad were afraid of bombs, what do you think would happen? You see that guy who was rewarded for pushing forward with his innovative idea wasn’t more talented or smarter than you.
Thomas Edison wasn’t afraid that people would ridicule him for failing 10,000 times in inventing the lightbulb, or that Michael Jordan would take the blame for failing to make the last shot. There was another man who wasn’t afraid of criticism when teachers called him a slow learner, retarded even. And his name was Albert Einstein. You know very well where these guys went on with their lives.
These people went from ordinary to legendary because of one common trait: They had a different perspective on failure. But you might say to yourself but I can’t be like Michael or Einstein, they had something I don’t. All the contrary really. They knew the true meaning of fear, it is a FALSE EMOTION APPEARING REAL. Let me say that again
F.E.A.R. is a False Emotion Appearing Real.
We say it’s a false emotion because it’s a normal response to ignorance, we are afraid of what we don’t understand. We’re afraid of monsters under the bed, the dark or spiders or being alone. It might have started out from past experiences, outside influences like our families or even from the media but whatever it is that we fear, you will realize that it is something that we don’t know much about. I face groups of people all the time, but I was the total opposite way back. I still get nervous now and then but if there’s one thing I learned about fear is that I turn that nervousness into excitement. Because the pessimist always feels anxiety, while the optimist sees opportunity.
Carl Jung said it perfectly that “if there is a fear of falling, the only safety consists in deliberately jumping”
The people who had made the most of themselves admitted they had fears, that they were afraid of something. But rather than get tied down and watch others advance they faced the fear of failure, of criticism, of rejection and realized that after they made the leap of faith that their fears were something they just manufactured in their heads. So what if I missed the shot? So what if people laughed at me? So what if people call me weird?
They knew there was a risk, they knew there was a possibility of losing, but they kept on moving and move forward they did.
So what are you afraid of? Admit to yourself you do feel fear, it’s very normal. But once you acknowledged that fact go ahead and face what you fear. Study it, put it under a microscope and dissect it. The more you learn about what you fear the lesser the risk. And when the level of risks goes down, competence and confidence steps in, then fear eventually dissipates. Remember that the greatest regrets we will ever have in life are the adventures, the dares, and the what if’s we didn’t take. So go out there and as Robin Sharma said run towards your fears.
Make that sales presentation, say to that person you love them, profess your faith to world and feel that rush of achievement.
Take that first step. Because the arrow that hits the bullseye is the result of a hundred misses, but you won’t win the gold if you don’t take the shot.
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