WHAT DO I DO WITH NEGATIVE PEOPLE?

A family had twin boys whose only resemblance to each other was

their looks. If one felt it was too hot, the other thought it

was too cold. If one said the TV was too loud, the other claimed

the volume needed to be turned up. Opposite in every way, one

was an eternal optimist, the other a doom & gloom pessimist.

Just to see what would happen, on the twins' birthday their

father loaded the pessimist's room with every imaginable toy and

game. The optimist's room he loaded with horse manure.

That night the father passed by the pessimist's room and found

him sitting amid his new gifts crying bitterly.

 

"Why are you crying?" the father asked.

"Because my friends will be jealous, I'll have to read all these

instructions before I can do anything with this stuff, I'll

constantly need batteries, and my toys will eventually get

broken," answered the pessimist twin.

Passing the optimist twin's room, the father found him dancing

for joy in the pile of manure. "What are you so happy about?" he

asked.

To which his optimist twin replied, "There's got to be a pony in

here somewhere!"

I got asked this question during an open forum session after one of my workshops by an HR officer.  He said he often meets people who often complains about their current situation in life and constantly blames other people and circumstances for his situation.  Having seen these many times (being guilty of this actually myself) I immediately sprung up and went to the whiteboard and started drawing up something that looks like the illustration below:

You see whether you like it or not, we are a direct result of all our past decisions, actions, relationships and attitudes.  As an adult and you still do not accept this you are still probably in denial and I don’t mean the river in Egypt.  At a certain point in our lives though we may have lived in uncertain and intolerable conditions we have reached an age where we could have said to ourselves enough is enough. 

Now. 

Looking at the drawing below this is where most people who face life negatively and with disdain tend to blame everything else for their woes.  First thing that comes to mind of course is the WWII Makapili’s and their fashionable bayong head gear.  These guys hide their identities devoid of any iota of responsibility just to sell others into blame.  They’d probably include in their list the following:

I had a rough childhood.

I did not have the right education.

I’m not that smart as others are.

I did not grow up in a wealthy family.

I don’t have enough experience.

Well if that resounds exactly like you then I guess a change in fashion sense is in place.

The x axis represents your level of personal growth.  Said plainly this is the degree of your maturity.  Oh and please don’t get me started on the correlation of maturity and age; it’s as direct and true as the loch ness monster.  This represents your development, the path that dictates your ability to weather any form of adversity, and defines your over all perspective towards life.

The Y axis on the other hand parallels the amount of time needed for you to achieve that level of growth.  The red line has been for the longest time that you have lived without any form of accountability for your actions, hence the decline of personal growth over time. 

The one thing I like once pointing out the entire premise of past decisions is that no one ever really disagrees with good reason.  Even the biggest of negaholics accept this.  But the mosT important part of the illustration is where the Y axis says NOW. 

This is where I draw the line.  This is where I tell everyone to draw the line.

Let me tell you a thing or two about the word BLAME.

Someone once said blame is a form of power.

When you blame others for everything that has happened in your life you are actually GIVING THEM POWER OVER YOU.  It simply means you are handing over control, letting others tell you where your road goes, where it ends and all the headaches and despair along the way.

On the other hand, when you accept that all things that happen to you is a result of all your actions, thoughts, feelings and decisions,

YOU ARE SHIFTING POWER TO YOURSELF. 

You are in control!

The word Responsibility roots from the words Response and Ability which means your capacity to react to everything that happens around you regardless of whether you can control them or not.  The results you achieve in life are in direct proportion as to how well you handle any kind of event, problem, setback or obstacle. 

YOU HAVE A CHOICE!

Well how about all the negative people around me?

You choose to be affected by their whining and complaining, the ones with the Location Dysfunction (I’ll be happy if I work/live/be there) or the ones with Someday Sickness (Someday I’ll be happy/content/complete)

Remember, wherever you may be, or whenever that time might be, that’s still the SAME YOU; the pessimist, the discourager, the critic unless you choose to be happy and live on your terms.  

You choose to whine and complain yourself or you choose to associate with inspiring and happy people. 

So I humbly ask you now.

Do you choose to let others determine your destiny or do you take on the wheel and write your own success story?

You are the driver, and GOD is your GPS.

Start your engines NOW.